I adopted the saying “Act as if everything is already okay” after realizing how much time I was spending fretting and scheming about the future. I’ve just graduated from Harvard, moved to Los Angeles where I am subletting my friend’s fabulous apartment in Beverly Hills, and am working for myself as a coach (and allegedly, a writer). In the two weeks I’ve been living in LA, I have been obsessively scouring apartment listings in Los Angeles, constantly ruminating on what I should be doing to kick-start my coaching business, and of course setting aside time to pine for my very-over relationship. And I’ve started to realize the sheer craziness and futility of all my toiling. It’s all going to work out if I just let it. I keep working so hard to try and make things work that I’m not giving God/the Universe an opportunity to move through me. It’s like I don’t believe God will come through for me, and I’m trying to make a safety net just in case it doesn’t work out.
I’m going to find a great apartment that I can afford. With diligence, patience, and faith, my business will take off. And one day I’ll even have a boyfriend who adores and appreciates me (let’s not forget the passion, though!). So I’m going to continue looking for apartments, working on my business, and I’m even going to reactivate my online dating profile—but without an anxious, fretting spirit. Frankly, it’s exhausting to worry so much—and where does it get you anyway?
What have you been worry about and what will you do now that you are going to act like everything is okay?
Photo Credit: “Happiness” by Dawn Ashley via Flickr
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Once Again you’ve posted a message that is right on time proving that when the feeling that you are the only one going through something, having certain feelings and doubts that somewhere out there someone relates and you are not alone. Thank you.
Thank you for your wonderful posts i live in australia and stumbled upon your blog and have never left since. I look forward to your posts and you always seem to have the answers I look for when I am confused or feeling like I dont know whether i am making the right decisions!! Thanks!
This is seriously my life motto. Or in plan terms: “fake it, till you make it.” Love your blog.~~
Hi I never thought that I would be writing something on a blog. I have a wonderful boyfriend, the fact is that I miss so much. I read the saying How to Make Your Boyfriend Miss You. I love it you are a breath of fresh air for young women. Thank you
I was so glad to see this . It’s like you’re reading my mind, Kaneisha! As ambitious modern day women of all backgrounds, we are often very hard on ourselves and often charge right to the next accomplishment without taking the time to reward ourselves for our hard work and enjoy the moment.
When I was right out of undergrad 6 years ago, I felt so lost. I questioned all my choices almost daily (Why did I major in English instead of econ ?) and beat myself up hard for not making lots of money, being in debt, , not dating the guy of my dreams, not living in a ‘cool’ city. It was tough. I cried a lot and compared myself to my friends. With the help of therapy, journal-writing and relaxation techniques I picked up in books, I learned to deal.
Two years ago, in summer 08, I turned 26, bought a small apartment, began teaching at a wonderful school and began dating a great guy all in the span of about a month. I got married three weeks ago and went back to work with one day off. So, for this next year, I am going to concentrate one joying my life right now. I still have goals (applying to doctoral programs, saving up for a honeymoon in the spring, saving $ in general…), but I am trying to have fun, too.
I am going to football game tailgates (Go UConn Huskies! class of ’04), films (saw a showing of the Prep School Negro and spoke to the director after), concerts (John Legend in New Haven at the end of the month) and relaxing at home, too. I am trying to enjoy life as best I can, right here, right now. It feels good! I feel better than I have, and more confident and hopeful about my future, than I have in years. It is exhausting to worry so much. It’s energy that could be directed elsewhere, to fun, to helping others, Good luck ladies!
Good day! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy reading through your articles. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same topics? Thanks for your time!
Hey there, Seo! I’m glad you enjoyed the article! On Valentine’s Day 2012, I’m launching my new website Kaneisha.com! We’ll actually have something similar to a forum there called a LoveWiki, which features 100+ dating and happiness questions and answers. Come on over to Kaneisha.com and check out the site! (http://kaneisha.com)