After going on multiple trips with multiple beaus, I have gotten much better at traveling with the special man in my life. It’s easy to romanticize traveling with a guy and forget just how many things can go haywire. Here are some tips on traveling with your guy culled from my experiences traveling with men to places as far away as Brazil to great getaways here in the U.S. like the wineries of Napa and the Sundance Film Festival in Utah.
1. Know the bed you’ll be sleeping in. Being spontaneous sounds fun, but showing up in a city with nowhere to sleep is no laughing matter. Make sure that you and your guy have carefully chosen where you will be staying. Even if you are trying to travel on a shoestring budget, make sure that the two of you have discussed what aspects of the housing are negotiable and which aspects are must-haves. For example, on our recent trip to Sundance, our must-haves were a double bed and a door—and that was just about it. We ended up finding a $50 room on Craigslist with a Mormon who is also a Shaman. It was an eclectic housing arrangement to say the least, but it worked for us! If we had not prepared ourselves to “take what we got” beyond a double bed and a door, we would have been sorely disappointed. Whether you are using Craigslist, Couchsurfer, or booking a hotel, the two of you should clearly discuss what is most important to you in a housing arrangement. Since one of the best parts of a vacation with your honey is the time spent nestling and wrestling in bed, you want to make sure it’s a bed that you actually want to be sleeping in.
2. Have your own money and a budget. I made the horrible mistake of traveling to Sundance with no cash, no debit card, and a credit card that would only swipe half the time. The friendly business owners in Utah had never even seen travelers’ cheques—which I had a plethora of from my recent trip to India. I was basically walking around penniless for four days and wholly dependent on my boyfriend to pay for everything. He did so graciously, but it definitely was irritating for both of us. I was happy that I was able to treat him to a fantastic dinner at a super-authentic Mexican restaurant (we were shocked to find a plethora of things on the menu we had never even heard of in our years of Mexican dining in Texas and California!), but I would have liked to buy my own souvenirs without feeling like a mooch. I would also advise that the two of you discuss a budget before leaving. When I was a senior in college, my boyfriend at the time and I went to Brazil and realized we were running out of money on our fourth day there! We had never discussed a budget and we were just spending money left and right going out to eat and gallivanting around town. Having a common understanding of how much money you are going to spend and what you are going to spend money on (e.g. taxis, going out to eat, housing, etc.) will help you avoid heated arguments later.
3. Spend some time apart. It may sound counter-intuitive but spending 24 hours a day together is not going to bring you closer; it’s going to make you run far away from one another. I knew that this weekend while at Sundance, me and my boyfriend were getting a little tired of one another when he stayed behind after lunch to talk to a restaurateur for twenty minutes when I left to get us seats at our movie. Like a stay-at-home mom craving adult conversation, he was craving talking to someone besides me! I was irritated that he almost made us miss the movie, but I understood his need to interact with someone besides me. I also could have used more time to just read, relax, and write. For example, he slept while I sat in Salt Lake City’s amazing public library and read girly magazines. Afterwards, we both felt rejuvenated and ready to keep exploring together.
4. Keep yourselves fed, well-rested, and dressed appropriately. My boyfriend gets grumpy if he is too hungry, tired, or hot. I get whiny if I’m too hungry, sleepy, or cold. It’s in your best interest to carry snacks like fruit, granola bars, and water for the both of you so neither of you gets too hungry (he will refuse to carry these things but then gobble them up when you offer them to him). Don’t try to be cute and wear high heels if you’ll be walking around all day. Don’t try to cram in three days’ worth of sightseeing into one afternoon. You’ll both end up exhausted and annoyed with one another. Take time to rest throughout the day so that you don’t crash at 8 pm.
5. Let him navigate—and have your GPS handy. We already know that men hate to ask for directions and that women hate being lost for no reason. When traveling with your guy, you will get lost and he will refuse to ask for directions. One fabulous loophole is that men will take directions from a GPS if they still feel like the GPS is just another tool in their navigating arsenal. They will not follow it word for word or even look at it (you must read it the directions to them and let them decide whether or not to follow it). You will inevitably get lost at least once a day while on vacation. In cases like these, it’s more important to be happy than to be right. Let him wander around a little bit and gain his bearing. Don’t offer to look up the location on your phone. Wait until he asks you to whip it out. That way he feels like his co-pilot is assisting him rather than showing him how lost he is. I was surprised at how often my boyfriend was able to get us to where we needed to be if I would just be patient and let him find his way. We eventually always got to where we needed to go—and without a fight!
6. Take lots of pictures—but not lots of re-do’s. Women tend to be big fans of the “delete” option on digital cameras, and guys just don’t understand it. The popularity of Facebook has turned photo ops into an iterative process where you keep taking the same photo until it is just right. Your guy is not going to pose for the same photo three times without starting to grumble and feel like you are more interested in recording the experience than actually sharing it with him. Let go of the need to have the perfect picture and just make sure you have lots of photos to remember your great trip by. Don’t insist on taking copious photos of him or the two of you together. Also take pictures of the new foods you eat, the new places you see, and interesting things you see while walking around—things that the two of you can remember together rather than just looking at a bunch of shots of the two of you huddled together.
Vacationing with your boyfriend can be a great experience if you plan well and have realistic expectations of what the trip will be like. Don’t try to make the trip into a faux honeymoon. Enjoy one another, enjoy the experiences you are sharing together, and remember that the emphasis is on spending time together—not seeing every single thing, having everything go perfectly, or taking the best pictures.
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i found this website that is very helpful for travel budgeting: http://www.thrillist.com/links/113714
@Suz: Thanks for sharing that link! I went to the site and it looks really cool! It’s like a Mint.com for vacations!
When traveling to countries like Europe or Latin America, especially like Italy or Venezuela, think carefully when traveling with your boyfriend and make sure he doesn’t get jealous and/or start fights when local guys or other male tourists are being friendly with you and/or looking at you. Believe it or not, it happens a lot and the guy gets arrested for aggravated assault.