Comments on: Ask Kaneisha: I told my bf to get lost, but I didn’t mean it!

By: Narif

Narif — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:32:29 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing this Regretful Girl! I’m going through the exact same thing at the moment too

It’s great to see good sound advice from women who actually understand the situation.

At the end of the day, when we look into our mirrors, we see ourselves. And we have to take care of ourselves in the best way that we can.
I began to understand this because a happy, fulfilled woman who can be on her own attracts men who knows what they want.

We need to change our crazy girl ways, but it takes the right man to recognize it too.

By: Kaneisha

Kaneisha — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:18:59 +0000

@Ms. Regretful: Yes, keep us posted! Stay strong!

By: Shadiah

Shadiah — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:05:44 +0000

Questioner: I like your style. Kaneisha’s advice was great, but you took it one step further and did what sane crazy girls SHOULD do: let the man fight for your love! I think you’re right: he knows. He knows you care for him. He knows you were upset. And he knows you are mature enough to have a “reconsideration” talk with him if he ever bothers to pick up the phone and call you. Oh, he knows. He just has to DECIDE which way he’s going to go…
Good luck. Keep us posted.

By: Kaneisha

Kaneisha — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:44:20 +0000

@Questioner/Ms. Regretful: That’s my Crazy Giirrrl! Not contacting him at all is even better! He’ll be back.

By: questioner

questioner — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:24:43 +0000

and Maggin, I know the feeling! He definitely was a chatter on the phone when he would call so he kept the convos going long not me lol but the calls diminished and were replaced by texts (which was fine every now and then) but either way you are right and I don’t even want to waste my time on somebody who doesn’t know what he wants. I mean what good is it to let your guard down with someone who in their presence gives you 110% but when they are not around, give you 5-10%. Thats not behavior I’m putting up with. I’m a huge fan of consistency!

Also Kaneisha-
I loved the advice you gave and it makes a lot of sense but I do not think I am going to contact him at all. He knows I didnt want to end it and he agreed with what I was saying as far as what I expected was fair and to add to the fact that he does not know what he wants just makes me think that I should let it go. If he decides he misses me or figures out he wants to be with me then he knows how to find me. I’m sure he could infer that I was upset when I stated lose my number and if he truly cares, then that will not stop him. If I lost him, then it was not meant to be!

By: questioner

questioner — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:00:23 +0000

Pauline, I think there was a misunderstanding in either the way I presented my question or how it was perceived. Never did I say I wanted to talk for hours on the phone and nor was I ever demanding that he did. I simply said in the beginning with his phone calls, some would result in 5-10 min convos while others lasted an hour and most of the time early on in the relationship, I would be the one to end the phone call. There were plenty of times when I was too busy to return a call or text immediately and same with him and I was not bothered by that at all. My point was ladies, if you are dating a man for 6 months and doing all this stuff together you mean to tell me that it is too much to expect either 1 quick “hello how’s it going” call or text ONCE a day? That was my point and I want to nix the confusion that I was expecting hours and hours of phone convos b/c I do not have patience nor time for those even with my girlfriends let alone a man. But last time I checked, expecting the man you are dating, spending all this time with, and sleeping with to pick up a phone or text to say hello and acknowledge the girl they are with was not too much to ask, especially after 6 months of dating.

By: Maggin

Maggin — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:04:59 +0000

I agree with the straightforward message- just not like “men don’t like to talk on the phone”. Some do
I think the advice you gave is the best advice there is. Don’t fall in love with a man who doesn’t know what he wants, its not worth the time it takes you to pick yourself back up after.

I’m still retarded over a relationship that ended in the couple end months of 2009.

By: Pauline

Pauline — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:53:16 +0000

As I read this questioner’s story, I could not help but feel sorry for her boyfriend. The questioner did not focus on the most important thing, which was whether her boyfriend cared for her or not. She pretty much focused on a peripheral issue, which is whether he called. Yeah, as Kaneisha pointed out, most guys don’t like to talk on the phone. I’m a girl and I would be kind of bored if I had to talk to someone for two hours everyday. He seems to connect with the questioner great, have quality time with her, do stuff with her, and all she focuses on is that he does not call her within what she deems the “appropriate” amount of time. Girl, why don’t you just go do your own thing and give him a break. 2 days without talking is perfectly fine.