Comments on: Never Let Him See You Sweat

By: Bella

Bella — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 08:05:48 +0000

How do u initiate telling them the “effed up” part?

By: Kaneisha

Kaneisha — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:34:55 +0000

That was a super-fun story, Lily! Thanks for sharing! Let us know what you think of the other books once you read them!

By: Lily

Lily — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:12:12 +0000

Hey Kaneisha,
Came across ur blog a few days ago and I’m hooked. I started to laugh so hard when I read this article cuz I often give my friends this same advice and they ignore it. Maybe if I send them this link, they’ll listen to u instead LOL. I had my first bf at the age of 21. That was 2 yrs ago. After 5 1/2 months, he started acting weird, intentionally doing things to annoy me, ignoring me and the list goes on. All in all, I think he wanted to break up with me and took the easy way out (according to you, this is the cowardly way ^_^) he basically forced me to break up with him. I did it via txt messaging and never spoke to him after that (even when he tried calling). I cried my heart out for months but my pride never allowed me to call him and tell him all the things I wanted to say to him (i.e. throw a tantrum and the sort lol). Fast track to 2 years later (a month ago) we ran into each other. I had not seen him since we had broken up. We ended up talking and he got deep and told me that he had recently broken up with his gf who then proceeded to cry and curse him out horribly. He went on to talk abt how taken aback he was. He’s been texting me since we ran into each other and basically reminiscing abt the good times we had. Basically I know two things: 1) maybe he’s lonely and trying to initiate conversation and 2) he knows I would never throw a tantrum like that, so now he’s reminiscing about what he had and lost and wishes he had back (all me lol). I don’t know but I know all women need to take this advice as well as read “Why Men Marry Bitches” which u recommended. I’m gonna get hold of the two other books u recommended as these are fantastic books for us as women to stop being doormats. Loving the blog thus far…keep it up!

By: tenretin

tenretin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 09:24:32 +0000

I will honestly be referencing this site from now on. Amazing. Thank you so much.

By: Kaneisha

Kaneisha — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:33:29 +0000

@Nadia: Thank you so much for your beautiful comment! Thank you for reading!

By: Nadia

Nadia — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:08:37 +0000

Absoutely stunning and concise advice !
Love it

By: Kaneisha

Kaneisha — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 04:45:52 +0000

@Laine: I know it’s terrible, but it’s better that the relationship didn’t drag on for months–or even years! You gave him his space–and he took it! It’s painful. I’ve been through it before, but it’s better to know than to wonder. Dating with dignity can be painful–but it’s not as painful as being a doormat!

By: Laine

Laine — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:52:47 +0000

I just stumbled upon your blog and I think I’ve read everything in one sitting =) Great read!
I just wish that I read this before, and heed some things that you had to say. Right now I’m just looking back and TRYING so hard to let the negative thoughts just pass.
And yeah, I’ve been through that same tough dilemma where I gave my then-boyfriend the silent treatment.. (Pardon the all caps but..) TWO MONTHS WENT BY and I never heard from him. Oh, the horror.

By: Kaneisha

Kaneisha — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:57:01 +0000

Hi Severine! I know it’s hard to wait to hear from a guy! The anticipation and anxiety eats you up inside and you feel like you will go absolutely bonkers if you do not talk to him! I’d like to add an amendment to the article above and say that it IS very important to tell guys when they “f” up that you are not happy about it. The key is to say it ONCE and CLEARLY and SUCCINCTLY without losing your cool in the process. After you’ve said your piece, if the guy continues his bad behavior, then that’s when I’d recommend the silent treatment. And the silent treatment includes NOT calling him! If he’s not treating you how you want to be treated, AND you’ve already told him that you don’t appreciate it, why should you reward his behavior by chasing him? Put down that phone, girl!

By: Séverine

Séverine — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:01:27 +0000

“Men do not respond to words.They respond to no contact.”
I totally agree with that phrase and with what you said in tha post.It’s true that it works when you show that you’re strong enough to resist the temptation of callin and makin the guy think it’s not the only matter in your life.
But what do you do when the guy doesn’t get back even after a week of not callin,not texting,not mailing?Do you keep waitin for him to get back runnin the risk to be more distant every day,or do you swallow your pride and make the call?Tough dilemma…