A Vow of Privacy

Do Not Disturb sign

I believe in acting like what you want has already been given to you. I’m pretty sure I want to be famous, so I think I shall start protecting myself as a famous person would. Famous people never win when they tell people about their love lives. If the press catches wind of a new relationship, they can’t wait to find the slightest sign of a “baby bump” or that the relationship is on the rocks. I have nothing close to abs of steel, but I’m certainly not ready for a baby bump, and the only thing I want on the rocks right about now is a tumbler full of Bailey’s. According to the paparazzi, every female celebrity’s man is either cheating or wishing he was cheating. So there’s really absolutely no reason to tell the world about your relationship—that is, unless you’re a blogger whose fame hinges on sordid tales of your love life.

That is not what I want my legacy to be. Firstly, I do not have dramatic enough sexploits to share that would garner the attention that say, Sex and the Ivy, has (by the way, the author of that blog is one smart lady with lots of insights to share outside of what gets the most attention on her blog). Furthermore, I would never want my broader message of happiness and fulfillment for the ever-seeking Crazy Girl to get lost in the one-woman Kaneisha show.

So no more men with coded names. No more tidbits about my hypotheses regarding just how much a guy is into me. No more stories about men I’m dating—unless they are already long gone. Then they can be referred to vaguely for illustrative purposes.

No, I do not feel like my blog ruined my two relationships I’ve had since I started it. I think both of those relationships progressed much more quickly than most dating gurus would recommend. I think that I got caught up in the excitement of connecting with someone and wanted my readers to connect with them too. There’s nothing wrong with that per se, but I know I can get my message across without making men feel like they need to get me to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Here’s to good habits that will forever keep me out of the crosshairs of Perez Hilton’s blog.