When I graduate in May, I will owe Pomona College, Harvard Kennedy School, and Harvard Business School a combined $115,000 (give or take $10K depending on how thrifty I decide my last year of school will be). I will owe someone more money than I’ve earned in my lifetime. This can be a very scary, depressing thought.
I used to let the loan debt haunt me. I thought of it as a rusty steel ball chained to my ankle weighing me down on the path to my dreams. I now realize that although graduating with less loan debt would be a tremendous blessing, my educational loan debt is nothing to fear given the tremendous benefits the educational experience I’ve had will bring me throughout my life. The $115K is just a challenge and a responsibility that I must face with courage, creative thinking, and dedication.
What the Loans Mean to Me
A balanced and strategic job search. My interests in writing, television, and film would usually mean spending endless hours producing content for free combined with slaving away as a production assistant for $25,000 a year. Considering my annual loan debt and annual LA rent would equal my salary, pursuing that path is not a viable option. My financial responsibility will force me to hustle to get a job that addresses my passions, helps me gain the experience and contacts I need, and allows me to pay my bills. With this loan debt, I will be more financially stable than if I would have graduated loan-free and ready to head out to Hollywood to “make it”. When considering what jobs to pursue, I’ll seek a balance between financial compensation and emotional compensation.
Taking ownership of my finances. I do not easily remember to pay my rent, credit card, and cable bill on time. I don’t usually know what my bank balance is, and right now I do not even know where my debit card is (Don’t worry, I cancelled it). I keep getting calls from Pomona College lenders because I can’t get Harvard to fill out my undergrad loan deferment papers correctly. I’m what banks call a “sleeping customer.” I do not take an active role in managing my finances, which makes me susceptible to blips in my credit rating, identity theft, and just plain wastefulness. My friend Shadiah introduced me to the wonderful personal financial management tool Mint.com that will help me learn where I spend my money and how I can manage it better. It even keeps track of your loan payments. If I was coasting along with no financial worries, it would probably take a disaster to wake me up to the importance of managing your money.
An unwavering belief that I will get what I want. If I focus on how the loan debt limits my ability to pursue and achieve my dreams, I will drown in self-pity and surely fail. I now have absolutely no room for doubt or fear. Like a tiny leak in a dam, thoughts of doubt will attack my wall of confidence, which will eventually crumble under the pressure of the flood it’s holding back. I must be self-reflective, listen to my intuition, the wisdom and knowledge of others, and be spiritually connected to other people and to God. But voices of disbelief and discouragement have no place in my life, because there simply is no room for it. I’ve got too much I want to do.
This loan debt is just a placeholder for anything that we can see as a situation or responsibility that might hinder us from achieving our dreams. For me, it’s the debt incurred for a stellar education. For someone else it might be the extra responsibilities that come with having a baby unexpectedly or the shock of losing a parent and becoming the de facto breadwinner or head of the family. This philosophy extends even to extreme situations such as someone serving a 15-year prison sentence like my Uncle Benny. Whatever your challenge, know that no person or situation can steal your dreams. It simply means that you have to be that much more dedicated and believe that much harder in your power to achieve them.
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Trying to be positive, but feeling you on the steel ball around my ankle.