My almost-boyfriend Mr. C is helping me move apartments today. My new apartment is 2.5 times larger than my current furnished studio with a door on the bedroom, a bed that doesn’t fold into the wall, nicer furniture, and a dishwasher. My new apartment costs a mere $1 more per day in rent. My jaw dropped when one of my friends who lives in the same apartment building as I do told me that she requested to live in a larger unit and that the rent was only $1 more per day. From that day forward, I called the leasing coordinator of my complex every single day until they found an apartment to move me to. I got the call yesterday saying I could move to my unit.
When I first arrived to my (now former) apartment in LA, I immediately requested a different one. It reeked of cigarette smoke and it was worsening the terrible bronchitis I already had from my cold. I was told there were no vacant apartments, and I eventually settled comfortably into the studio even as I experienced a vicious fruit fly infestation, bucketfuls of water leaking from my air conditioner, and real live dog poop in the hallway one morning. The first time my friend Ben came to visit me at my apartment, he said, “I wouldn’t settle for this,” and I shrugged it off. After all, I wasn’t paying full price in rent. Did I really have the right to ask for more?
Absolutely. I knew I wanted and deserved better. I was just too complacent to pursue the customer service I deserved. Just because my rent is subsidized does not mean I deserve to live in a sub-par environment. Whether it’s me or someone paying for my apartment on my behalf, the apartment is getting fully paid for and I deserve to get what I want from it.
I blame no one in this situation but myself. It isn’t the leasing coordinator’s job to make sure I have a stellar apartment. It’s not the payors’ job to make sure their money is “going to good use”. They’re holding up their end of the deal by paying for the apartment, so their worries are over.
My inaction to move to a new apartment (whether I knew just how much better a new one could be or not) was fed by my blurring the notions of being grateful and settling for less.
How to Know if You are Settling
Are you living with it rather than loving it? I live with my HP laptop, and I like my Blackberry Curve, but the people I know with Macs and iPhones love their devices. Even though it may just seem like a random piece of electronic equipment, we use these things for hours every day. It would be great to love these electronics that accompany us throughout the day rather than bury the constant frustration under a veil of “it’s good enough.”
Would you trade it in for something better tomorrow if you could? Whether it’s your uncomfortable chair at your job, a pair of shoes you just bought that hurt your feet, a friendship that feels one-sided, or a romantic relationship that doesn’t make you feel special, you are settling if you would trade it in for something better tomorrow if you could.
Do you complain about it rather than just enjoy it silently? People spend way more time complaining about the things they don’t like than acknowledging and discussing what is going great in their daily lives. If you find yourself talking (negatively) about something more often than you just silently enjoy it, you are probably settling for less.
What to Do About It
Make your needs known. When I was a teacher, my main rule was to “make your needs known.” How was I supposed to know that my student nodding off was exhausted from babysitting their three younger siblings if they didn’t tell me? How could I make sure to be extra attentive to the student who wanted to participate but was too shy to raise their hand if they didn’t at least whisper to me their needs one day after class? I worked hard to create a safe environment where my students could respectfully and appropriately voice their concerns—be it boredom or confusion with the lesson plan, or an idea for a new class activity. People can’t help you unless they know what you want. Identify not just what is wrong in a situation but be clear about what would make it better, figure out who you can share this need with, and then let them know.
Take the time to say something. Obviously there are more important things in life than trying to make sure that everything we encounter is up to the highest standard. However, if you think of your money and time as the valuable currency that fuels the economy of your daily life, you may find that you are getting a much higher return on your investment if you take the ten minutes out of your day to make that phone call to your local grocery store to tell them you haven’t been pleased with the freshness of the produce lately. You may end up with a basketful of free, fresh fruit in thanks for your helpful feedback.
Be Persistent. If you get a no or “can’t help ya” in response to your request, be persistent. Just like that pang of discomfort that shoots up your leg every time you walk for too long in those shoes, you owe it to yourself to be persistent with the store that sold them to you to return your money.
Relish in what does work well. To balance out your correcting and complaining, take time to appreciate all the great things you enjoy on a daily basis. For me, it’s my blender that makes the perfect fruit smoothies for me every morning without fail. It’s my work trousers from Target that I rarely need to iron. It’s the dating books I can flip open to any page and find great, thought-provoking advice. It’s my GPS that helps me navigate the wacky world of Los Angeles. Taking the time to appreciate all the great things you have makes sure you don’t get caught up in chasing “bigger and better” and it also reminds you of why it is important to know the difference between being grateful and settling.
What things are you settling for in your life? What will you do about it?
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I agree with what you’re saying. However, I think it’s important to point out that if you are going to take the time to demand the customer service you deserve, it is equally important to give positive feedback when you encounter good customer service (or whatever else you are involved in). I am the first person to call and let a company know when I am not happy with the service that I received. However, I also call companies and give supervisors the names of customer service representatives that were particularly helpful. Actually, I did just that this weekend with American Airlines. I had trouble upgrading my flight to first-class with one employee, so when I found two more who were very willing to help me I called and let their bosses know how outstanding they had been for me.
One aspect of my job is developing strategies in training customer service representatives and I have heard over and over again that they receive 100 times more complaint calls than compliment calls. I imagine that if more people called in to say thank you for good service, the CSRs may make more of an effort to deserve those thanks.