Today a man rushed to help me carry a box. I was so overcome with surprise and appreciation I didn’t know what to do. He wanted nothing from me. He even bid me farewell with, “Have a great day, kid!” so he obviously wasn’t hoping for a date or anything. “I’m from the Midwest,” he explained, as if apologizing for having the nerve to offer to help me.

I do not claim to speak for all women—just for a lot of my women friends—who are beautiful, well-educated, and independent. Men, we want chivalry back. We don’t care to argue about where it went or why. We just want it back. Men, it doesn’t matter what age you are, whether you are married, dating, or single, here is a list of things that many women wish you would do. (You should know that these are also hints for how to get a woman to fall for you):

1.      Ask women out on dates. Don’t make the woman ask you out on a date. If you are interested in a woman, make conversation with her from time to time, get a feel for if she’d be open to spending time with you, then ask her out to lunch, dinner, or even tea.

2.      Pick women up for the dates. Even if you live in a city like Boston or New York City where public transportation is king, the gesture of renting a car or even hailing a cab shows that you want the evening to be special. She will feel special.

3.      Open doors. Even if it seems impractical sometimes, open doors for women. We love it. This also goes for helping women with heavy luggage or an unwieldy number of grocery bags.

4.      Pay for the first few dates. This is another gesture of your intentions to show the woman that you think she is special. If you are low on money, choose creative dates that don’t require a lot of money (like a picnic in the park, pay-as-you-wish Wednesday at the museum, etc.). You won’t be required to pay for everything forever.

5.      Hold her hand and walk on the “outside”. Claiming a woman in public—not in a caveman “she’s mine!” sort of way but in a way that says, “This is a woman who I think is special and I want to protect,” means a lot to women. Don’t have your woman walking on the sidewalk next to traffic whizzing by.

6.      Ask her to be your girlfriend. Instead of playing the guessing game and hoping that she’ll just magically know that you want to be her boyfriend, actually say the words, “Will you be my girlfriend?” This is along the same lines as the “claiming” point made earlier. She will be delighted to have been asked rather than to “drift into” a relationship.

7.      Don’t pressure her into sex. Waiting until the woman is ready for sex helps her feel like it is the result of a special connection between the two of you—rather than a requirement to keep you around. Lots of women feel extremely attached to their partner after having sex with them, so pressuring a woman into sex might accelerate a woman’s expectations of you as a partner as well. Let the woman be the one to truly initiate the sex—if you can help it.

8.      Buy her flowers. You don’t have to wait until a momentous holiday to buy a woman flowers. You can get a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers and a glass vase for $20 at the grocery store. (Just be sure to take the flowers out of the plastic wrapping and put them in the vase with water before giving them to her). You don’t have to spend $75 on a bouquet of flowers in order for it to “matter.”

9.      Say “I love you.” If you love her, tell her. Sometimes guys think that women should “just know” from all the things you do for her. Hearing those magic words—when said from a place of truth—will make women swoon.

10.  Say “I’m sorry.” Apologizing is hard for anyone, and especially for men who sometimes feel like they’re “losing” by admitting they were wrong. If you know you messed up, just apologize. Being happy is so much more important than being right in an argument.

Of course, the success of all these strategies depends on women being open to men stepping up and being chivalrous. Women, we can’t ridicule men or call them “old fashioned” if they do these things. If a man says he’s sorry, don’t throw it back in his face. If you know a man is paying for a date, don’t order the most expensive things on the menu (it will be your turn to pay one day). If he says “I love you,” don’t say, “You’re just saying that!” If a man is trying to be a gentleman, by all means, let him. Men, the next time you are wondering what to do on a date or in your relationship, think about these ten simple ways you can bring classic chivalry to your dating life. It will make a world of difference.

No related posts.