My 20-Day Boyfriend

I have a new boyfriend. We’re going to call him Q-not because I’m planning on writing such illicit tales about dating him that I need to conceal his name, but because my blog idol, Penelope Trunk, calls her boyfriend D-and I like that.

We met on Match.com, and I knew I wanted him to be my boyfriend from our first date. We went out to lunch, and he let me order the Indian food. At the end of our date, he gave me a big kiss on the cheek goodbye as I shamelessly boarded the Harvard shuttle (It was only a 20-minute walk, but I was in heels and not ready to walk across the bridge in them). A few dates later, he insisted that I break it off with my “17 other boyfriends” and date only him so that we could enjoy our last 20 days together before I head to Los Angeles for my summer internship. Doing so was easier than I thought it would be, but it was also very scary. I was giving up the security of dating several great guys to date one guy who might turn out to be crazy, married, or…all those other things bad boyfriends sometimes turn out to be. I thought about how much fun we have together when we hang out and how much I liked his kind voice, and decided to take the risk and say yes. Although he hates it, I call him the Harry to my Charlotte. I’ve been waiting for someone like him.

I can’t tell how he feels about my blog yet. He seemed worried when I said that 300-400 people visit it a day (Who are you wonderful people?!), but then he texted me a few days later telling me that he was showing my blog to his friends, so I guess it’s a love-hate relationship. Just like Penelope, I’ll give him veto power over anything I write about him-except for this post. I sorta-kinda cleared it beforehand, and he even gave me the title for it.

I don’t know what will happen once I leave for Los Angeles on May 24^th. We talked about him coming to visit me, us taking trips together (Hawaii, the Bahamas, and London all came up), and though I haven’t mentioned it yet, I hope he will help me sublet my apartment. I’m cautiously optimistic about what will happen. This is exactly where I was a year ago-new boyfriend, school year ending, headed off for the summer with fun trips planned for us. That relationship ended as badly as it possibly could have, so I’m trying to have my guard up.

Three New Boyfriend Mistakes I Will Not Repeat:

• Putting my relationship status on Facebook: When my one-year-ago boyfriend and I broke up, I literally Googled how we could change our status messages so that the horrific broken heart wouldn’t show up on our pages. He did it right, and I did it wrong, so I ended up being the only one with the broken heart on my page. Sounds kind of similar to how we broke up. I will never, ever put my relationship status again on Facebook. If things go awry with Q, I’d rather tell you 400 people in my own words than involuntarily tell my 1000-something Facebook network with an icon.
• Storing Furniture Together: I knew this was a dummy move when we were doing it, but I was so excited about our new relationship, I did it anyway. It was an economical statement of our commitment to one another-or at least to making it through the summer. When we had to move our stuff out of storage back into our respective apartments, I felt like I was getting a divorce.
• Telling people at work about him: My wonderful boss at my internship gave me two days off so I could take a five-day excursion to New Orleans to visit my boyfriend. Then he brought it up in a staff meeting, where I almost started to cry out of awkwardness and embarrassment as I told him that I was no longer going to Nawlins and didn’t need the time off. I will never, ever talk about my boyfriend at work again (I say this now, but let’s see what I talk about around the copy machine come summertime).

There are a lot of other new boyfriend mistakes that I have already made or have thought about making. I will save those for another post, because I think one woman’s dating joys and woes are another woman’s lessons-at least I hope so.

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