Daydream Believer by Ninja vs Penguin
I’ve wanted to be famous since I was five years old and my parents put premium cable television in my bedroom. I would watch the Disney Channel for hours while rocking in the child-size rocking chair my grandma bought me. One of my favorite childhood tapes is me at six years old alone with my sister in the living room and a camera on a tripod performing for an hour to an audience of one. I sang, danced, told jokes, and chanted “Gimme a smile!” as my baby sister gurgled at my buffoonery. Setting up a camera on a tripod (thanks to my wonderful artistically-minded Uncle DJ) was probably the most my parents could do to keep their sanity. I can tell they cared, because they even set up appropriate lighting for my filming session.
As the years passed, I buried my dream under academic achievements. A’s in school and certificates were concrete examples of success for me, whereas I had no role models to show me how I might succeed as a writer, a television personality, or some other sort of figure in media and entertainment. To some degree, I even ran from my dream: In 7th grade, my English teacher asked me to lead our school’s (actually outstanding) literary magazine-and I decided to be a cheerleader instead. In 9th grade, my Newspaper teacher begged me to continue taking newspaper and be an editor; I took Band instead. In college, I avoided our school newspaper, radio station, and magazine-and engulfed myself in student leadership activities. I got a glimpse of how possible my dream could be when I was accepted into David Foster Wallace’s writing class at Pomona-and he actually liked what I wrote. When critiquing my piece, he said, “There are definitely some mistakes in here. For example, your main character doesn’t have a last name but some minor characters do. But your writing is so seductive, it makes me forget all about that.” I’ll never forget that. Then, I didn’t keep in touch with him even though I had his personal phone number.
I’m not sure what the catalyst has been for me to finally pursue my dreams. Maybe it was the Reflected Best Self exercise we did in my Leadership class. Maybe it was the recession and how clear it became to me that no job is that secure-so I should just do what I want to do. Maybe it was all the interviews I did to prepare for management jobs that made me realize that I probably won’t make a great manager in Corporate America-at least not in the long term. I know that my Career Coach Lauren Murphy definitely had an impact on me this year.
I have a very clear memory of Lauren saying to me, “Kaneisha, you’ve been looking for a spotlight your whole life. First, you found that attention from making good grades in school and being a student leader. Then you graduated from college, and decided to get not one but two Masters degrees from Harvard-and now, there is no more stage. There’s just real life-and you have to figure out what you’re going to do next. If you really want to be in the spotlight, go be in the real spotlight. I know you can do it! You were made for this!”
Well, I’m doing it now-and it’s all happening so fast. I turned in a book proposal to the most powerful man in publishing. I’ve been interviewed on Dutch TV, and will be interviewed for Japanese television tomorrow. I’ve run into celebrities who are eager to help me, and I’m moving to Los Angeles this summer. This is literally all the joy I can stand. I see my blog as my small but important way of encouraging others to embrace their dreams. The sooner you stop running from what you really want the sooner you can stop rocking in your chair watching other people lead the life you want-and start living it yourself.
Related posts:
{ 4 trackbacks }
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I am concerned Kanesha that your blog is more about YOU and YOUR success and boasting about this than advice for others. (Note all the links promoting YOU.)
Aww K! I know about all of those things in your life, from the “my name’s Kaneisha!!” dance when you were little to cheerleading to how excited you were to be in creative writing class. I particularly remember a “black woman / hair” relationship struggle happening that ended with a shinny bald head being kissed. We all love your writings, they’re informative and entertaining.
I am just trying to get in that space where I can become my own cheerleader and stop doing things to draw other ppl’s cheering. It’s in sight but my frontal lobe needs just a few more neurons.
Kaneisha, I suppose I’d agree and disagree with Concerned. Yes, your blog is about your thoughts and the way YOU experience life. But by doing this, you ARE helping and inspiring me. I am most often motivated by seeing EXAMPLES of success, happiness, or love. Some people are visual learners, others audio learners, and me, well I guess I’m just a “monkey see monkey do” type of learner!
While there is danger in boasting, I also believe there is danger is not being celebratory enough. I fall/fell into the latter category assuming that it is better to wait for other to notice your achievements, rather than being more proactive and letting people know what my achievements are. We often ‘undersale’ ourselves and miss opportunities because we are hesitant to celebrate our successes for fear of how we will be perceived (or for fear of not knowing how to promote ourselves in tasteful ways that invite positive energy … or for fear of going against childhood lessons in humility and patience). Of course, there needs to be a balance so that we can experience the beauty and the lessons that are born from humility but there is beauty in being confident enough to share your successes.
Also, I’d note that men are often given the license to be confident and celebratory, however, when women engage similarly it is perceived negatively.
I disagree with Concerned. Although this post was pretty Kaneisha-centric, a lot of her posts are not. “Negotiating with Your Partner” and “Developing Your Online Distribution Strategy” both offer clear advice without any self-promotion from Kaneisha (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Plus, I would hope that someone who write about pursuing dreams and goals has some success following her own advice! I understand what Concerned is saying, but I think its more useful to see Kaneisha’s achievements as a testament that her advice works.
Firstly, Concerned you are going to her blog, HELLO!!!! she can talk about what ever she wants, personally I need to hear more about Black women doing amazing things because the media clearly covers it up and shuts it out. Secondly, I realized I had a little more to say to Concerned but I don’t want you to think I am attacking you or your name. Especially, if you are just “Concerned” for Kaneisha; she needs people that care for her in her life and not shut out because of it.
Kaneisha you are truly an inspiration to me and I don’t know if I ever told you. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS-that’s what I plan to do after graduation this year. Keep me updated I will buy whatever you write and whatever you are in (Movie). Possibilities are endless.
Kaneisha, I suspect you already know this, but you should be so much more excited to have criticism and (dare I say it) “hater-ation” about your blog. No real success comes without its trials. I hope you are prepared because the more successful you become the larger the onslaught of praise AND negativity.
You are definitely an inspiration! Keep blowing yourself up to the world so we can make our own aspirations bigger and brighter!
I love it i love it i love it! Go girl! Don’t forget us little people when you’re a BFD. I’m not so committed to being well-known as you, but I have absolutely no qualms about vacationing with fabulously wealthy famous people! Haha! Enjoy sunny LA!
K, you’re doing a great job ‘boasting’ dear. it’s also working for the rest of us
to undersale your accomplishments and achievements is self-sabotage and none of us here need that! onward…great blog!
Dear Concerned,
First of all – I am very excited to have received my first critical comment. That makes me feel like I am actually saying something mildly interesting. (And please feel free to criticize what I just said as well)
Secondly – I agree with you! Blogging is usually–if not always–about self-promotion. And self-promotion is one of the things Gen Y does best. I’ve never been shy about sharing (we can call it boasting if you want) what I’ve achieved. That’s just my personality, and it works for me. I don’t think my boasting precludes people learning some useful stuff from my achievements–and my mistakes.
Please keep reading and leaving comments–especially ones like this one that start conversations.